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AvatarRokusGhost
Wordbender
Lady Lostris
Mageddon725
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AvatarRokusGhost
Mageddon725
Minnichi
Lady Lostris
Wordbender

Jan 5 Meeting

Do we have anything of importance to discuss at the dawn of a new year for this story, or are we still just working kinks out? Additionally, is the next revised chapter ready for release? We should probably publish something soon.

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AvatarRokusGhost
Mageddon725
Minnichi
Lady Lostris
Wordbender
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I'll read it in a sec.
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Okay, I rewrote some things as I felt the ending scene stood out with the despair you built up before. Also, Kin cannot go to the library as Eris is there. As such, his best shot is to go to the Spirit World and find Wan Shi Tong there and ask him for answers. I thought it would send a stronger message if Kin wants to set things right with Sakura and let that be his resolve for now. He is guilt-ridden, feels responsible of what she is doing to him and herself, so I think it flows nicely if that's emphasized.

I also rewrote the flashback a bit -which was a great idea, btw, I love flashbacks to "better times" ^^- and added some more details about Kin and Sakura's past, about their loving relationship, though not enough to be specific, so hopefully the reader will just be wondering what went down with those two.

As far as I am concerned -and everyone is okay with the changes I made- it's publishable.

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Oh man, how did I not catch the library thing!?

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I'm a stickler for details and continuity ^^".

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That is true, although I'm usually the same way. Must've been off my game.

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I don't know, I'd say we just have a very confusion story on our hands to keep track of where everyone is with all the location-jumping we do :-) And in this case, I have the edge on you since Eris and whatever has to do with her is sort of my department.

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I like the LL-revisions, and kudos for the flashbacks and change in mood from despair to 'Wait just a minute, I'm not done yet!' I did read the Kin addition like 2 days ago actually, I just forgot to reply here heh ^^" Anyway, I made a random comment on the actual chapter's revisions regarding some technical stuff about emotions but I don't think it's anything to delay publishing for. 

I'll (inevitably) be the last to say, "Looks all good to me!" :P 

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Sweet! I guess we're good to go!

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